September 9, 2012
By Georgianna Donadio, MSc, DC, PhD
Given the ever growing demands of our daily lives, it becomes very easy to overlook the “care and feeding” of our intimate, family and long-term relationships. Relationships have been shown to have a significant impact on our health, happiness and longevity, and taking care of them and keeping up on their maintenance is essential.
Taking the time to have a “tune-up” for your important relationships is worth the effort. Here are some simple but important inter-personal behaviors that will help tune-up your relationships and add to the fulfillment and satisfaction you desire from them:
Conflict Resolution – Conflict in relationships is inevitable, but the way we handle and respond to it is not. Some of us try to avoid dealing with conflict, while others want to immediately resolve things head on. Instead of trying to avoid the conflict, it can be constructive to objectively write down our thoughts and feelings and share them with the other person in a way that expresses how we feel, and in a style that makes us comfortable, such as possibly in a letter, a greeting card or by e-mail.
For those of us who tackle conflict “head on”, it can be helpful to take a step back and discern if this issue is something that must be resolved immediately, or can we give ourselves time to process what has occurred and see the conflict from the other person perspective.
Respecting the others Person’s Experience of the Conflict - Respecting your partner’s or friend’s experience of a particular conflict doesn’t mean you “go along to get along” or that you should not express your own experience or feelings about it. It does mean that you respect and consider the other individual’s unique experience of what has occurred and that they want to be seen, heard and valued just as much as you do.
By being open to accepting what the other person is feeling and what they have experienced, you send the message that you sincerely care about their feelings. And, while you may not agree with their feelings, you bring integrity to the relationship that allows them to be who they are and express how they feel in a safe and non-hostile environment.
Would You Rather Be Right or Be Loved?
An important question to ask ourselves when we are dealing with conflict in a significant relationship is would we rather be right or be loved. This is a simple litmus test that can help us to find a balance and a win-win situation for both the parties in a conflict, and also allows us to reflect on what is important in both our life and in our relationships.
Copyright, 2012 G. Donadio
August 1, 2012
By Georgianna Donadio, MSc, DC, PhD
We don’t often think of relationships as nutrient, but indeed they are. Freud made a statement about the power of love and relationships and their importance to our happiness when he said: “We are never so hopelessly unhappy as when we lose love.”
Freud knew something from his experience about the human condition from his many years treating patients who experienced difficult, unfulfilling and loveless relationships. We often forget that those who love us and those we love fulfill our basic human need to be known, valued and wanted. All healthy human beings want to be valued and experience being cared for, treated respectfully and receive affection from those we care about.
As an older adult who, like Freud, has seen the ravages of loves loss, I have come to appreciate and cherish those in my life who fulfill my need to be valued and wanted – my need to be loved.
It is important for each of us to remember that no one is perfect and that if we expect perfection in love we will surely be disappointed. One of the gifts of age and experience is the relief of realizing that each act of love we give from our imperfect self to another and the love given to us by imperfect others, is the most important wealth we possess.
At the end of the day, when all else is stilled and the distractions of work, ambition, success and achievement are put aside, it is those we “go home to” and the nourishment they provide us that is our real treasure.
May we take a moment each day to appreciate how profound a blessing the gift of love is in our lives.
With all good wishes,
Georgianna
Copyright 2012 G. Donadio
June 13, 2012
By Georgianna Donadio, MSc, DC, PhD
It is my pleasure to offer a Guest Post by Mr. Michael Harris, author of the soon to be released “Falling Down and Getting Up”. Check out Michael’s organization, The Getting Up Project at www.thegettingupproject.com
ACTION – Acting Courageously To Inspire OTHERS Now
This acronym seems to say it all. There can be such tremendous joy when a personal action can help others feel inspired. It could be inspiring your children to enjoy school and create a wonderful life. Perhaps it is speacking on the stage and inspiring the audience to fully live life. There is also another way to describe action with greater intensity
“To exert a force with sufficient conviction and bravery to arouse greater efforts in another person at the present moment.”
What would happen to your life (and others) if you created ongoing action? If you are in a place where you are stuck, it just might move you in a way to get unstuck – especially if you are sitting on the couch too much! Maybe today is not a day you are taking action or doing something that can inspire others. Perhaps next time someone asks “how are you?” Instead of the standard “ok”, you say “I am grateful for today.” When you do that you may find the other person smiling – and inspired.
It can become a positive habit and a self-healing experience to ask yourself each day how are you “Acting Courageously To Inspire Others Now?”
Michael Harris is a popular yoga teacher, successful businessman and business coach. He is the author of a soon to be published book, “Falling Down, Getting Up”, and inspiring journey of his personal process and ultimate success with standing back up again after falling down from health and personal struggles that forced him to develop skills and great wisdom on the subject of “falling down and getting up” again. He is the founder of The Getting UP Project, a growing movement that offers ideas and inspiration to live life with greater action and abundance. To find out more, visit www.thegettingupproject.com.
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